||Scarlet Letter 6: 126-144||

“To the untrue man, the whole universe is false,—it is impalpable,—it shrinks to nothing within his grasp. And he himself, in so far as he shows himself in a false light, becomes a shadow, or indeed, ceases to exist” (133).

• Through this quote, Dimmesdale does not explicitly admit to being an “untrue man” simply because he does not view himself as one. Through his explanation of what an untrue man is, it is evident that he may be stepping into this direction, however, what is stopping him is the pain he feels within and his acknowledgement of the sin. If that is what hinders Dimmesdale from being considered an untrue man, we can then assume that an untrue man is naive and portrays a false character only to conceal his wrongdoing for the betterment of himself. However, Dimmesdale clearly explicates his reasoning for hiding his secret as a means of keeping the townspeople’s best interests in mind.
  
  Would it be better to admit his sin so the townspeople are aware of the truth and realize that Dimmesdale is simply a flawed human being like themselves?

“‘Then, and there, before the judgment-seat, thy mother, and thou, and I must stand together. But the daylight of this world shall not see our meeting!”’ (139).

• Although Dimmesdale teetered from one means of obtaining redemption to another, he finally chooses one and holds his stance. Throughout the novel, it is evident that the reason for Dimmesdale’s concealment of his sin, was because he understood that only God could judge him. However, upon the arrival of Chillingworth’s torture and guilt, he becomes distraught and considers the option of confessing to the whole town: “He had been driven hither by the impulse of that Remorse which dogged him everywhere” (134). When coming into contact with Hester and Pearl, he comes to his senses. Ultimately, Dimmesdale realizes that his true judgment comes solely from God and on judgment day is when Dimmesdale, Hester, and Pearl will stand together. When comparing The Crucible, we see a correlation between both Dimmesdale and Proctor. Proctor however, suffered through his misguided search for redemption and came to the conclusion that only God can judge him toward the end of all the tumult, whereas Dimmesdale had this mentality from the beginning.
  
  What will Dimmesdale do if the townspeople become aware of his sinful act?
  (I wasn’t sure of the townspeople found out or not)

||Scarlet Letter 5: 107-126||

“To sum up the matter, it grew to be a widely diffused opinion, that the Reverend Arthur Dimmesdale, like many other personages of especial sanctity, in all ages of the Christian world, was haunted either by Satan himself, or Satan emissary, in the guise of old Roger Chillingworth” (116).

• It is evident that upon Chillingworth’s arrival in the town, he is seen as an angel or someone sent by God to heal Dimmesdale from his illness. However, the townspeople were not aware of the fact that Dimmesdale’s health began to diminish when becoming closer with his personal physician Chillingworth. His health certainly was not improving which caused suspicion to rise among the townspeople. To the townspeople, Chillingworth’s intentions had changed from being Godly to evil. No longer was he thought to have been put on earth to heal their beloved Dimmesdale. Chillingworth was there to torture.
  
  How will the death of Dimmesdale affect Hester?

“But still, methinks, it must needs be better for the sufferer to be free to show his pain, as this poor woman Hester is, than it cover it all up in his heart” (123).

• Through this quote, Dimmesdale reveals the inner battle in which he has been grappling with. Although he does not exactly articulate that it is his predicament, one can assume that it is. Dimmesdale expresses that Hester has much less of the weight of the sin on her shoulders solely because, for Hester, everyone is aware of her wrongdoing and now she must suffer the punishment. On the other hand, Dimmesdale must conceal his secret of having any part in the adulterous act and must simply be a spectator to the torture they are putting Hester through. In expressing this, Dimmesdale is claiming that his situation results in more suffering.
  
  Why doesn’t Dimmesdale tell the truth since he is going to die soon?

||Scarlet Letter 4: 91-107||

“‘No, my little Pearl!’ said her mother. ‘Thou must gather thine own sunshine. I have none to give thee!’” (94).

• After Pearl finds the wonder and amazement of Governor Bellingham’s house, she begins to dance as though she is in demand for the sunshine to be in her possession for her to play with. This quote follows Pearl’s excitement and reveals Hester’s understanding of her own self. Hester is aware of the sin she has committed and believes she no longer has purity or “sunshine” to give. By encouraging Pearl to find her own sunshine, Hester is claiming that Pearl is certainly capable of obtaining it, while she herself cannot offer it.
  
  Will Hester ever forgive herself?

“That this boon was meant, above all things else, to keep the mother’s soul alive, and to preserve her from blacker depths of sin into which Satan might else have sought to plunge her! Therefore it is good for this poor, sinful woman that she hath an infant immortality… to remind her, at every moment, of her fall, —but yet to teach her” (105).

• Pearl was certainly a symbol of sin considering the fact that she was conceived through adultery. However, this passage reveals how, regardless of Pearl being a representation of sin, she is there to remind Hester of her mistakes. Pearl is also destined to help Hester search for repentance and absolution from her sin. Hester now strives to carry herself in a manner that is beneficial toward the bringing up of Pearl.
  
  Is Pearl a symbol of goodness, rather than sin?

||Scarlet Letter 3: 72-91||

“From first to last, in short, Hester Prynne had always this dreadful agony in feeling a human eye on the token; the spot never grew callous; it seemed, on the contrary, to grow more sensitive with daily torture” (79).

• This quote shows that despite Hester’s confidence and acceptance of her sin, she is still affected by the townspeople’s constant glare at not only her, but the actual scarlet letter. It is evident that Hester holds a sense of insecurity within herself because she expresses her concern on the increase of the torture she feels she is receiving with every glare. Hester has no control over it and must deal with his difficulty on her own, bearing the shame of her sin on her chest for all to see. Her vulnerability provokes a sense of empathy within the reader, causing one to understand Hester’s position in this cruelty. Likewise, in “The Crucible,” Proctor’s genuine nature caused the reader to sympathize with what he was going through, pushing the well deserved (partial) blame from Proctor to the townspeople.
  
  When will the townspeople allow for Hester to be absolved from her sin of adultery?

"But, whether from pride or resignation, or a feeling that her penance might best be wrought out by this unutterable pain, she resisted the impulse, and sat erect, pale as death, looking sadly into Pearl's wild eyes" (89).

• As Pearl consistently throws wild flowers at Hester’s letter, Hester has the immediate instinct to cover it up. However, she restrains from doing so, expressing that perhaps this was a means of obtaining absolution from her sin. Regardless of the unjust treatment and false judgment Hester receives from the townspeople, she continues to bear her letter without any attempt to hide it. Hester believes that she deserves the hand she was dealt with considering that Hester is under the impression that Pearl’s malevolent nature is a direct consequence of her own sin. This is somewhat opposite to Proctor in “The Crucible” because Proctor had trouble truly accepting the fact that he had commit adultery, even after confessing it.
  
  Will Pearl grow up to be extremely evil?

||Scarlet Letter 2: 56-72||

"…to find yourself, at length, in a land where iniquity is searched out, and punished in the sight of rulers and people, as here in our godly New England"(58).

• A stranger by the name of Roger Chillingworth had just finished explaining his past state when he questioned the whereabouts of Hester Prynne. This quote reveals the common answer that everyone who lived in the town was essentially aware of. This was a society in which one’s sins and faults were of more significance than their good acts. The man giving this response was more than happy to share Hester’s faults with Chillingworth, parading her supposed well-deserved punishment. Just as in “The Crucible,” the townspeople are infatuated with giving accused sinners harsher punishments than deserved and finding joy in their pain.
  
  Is Roger ever going to reveal the fact that he had a relationship with Hester Prynne?

“And my child must seek a heavenly Father; she shall never know an earthly one!” (64).

• Hester Prynne constantly refuses to reveal the father of her child. Even when the clergymen attempt to make Hester feel guilty by asking her if she wouldn’t like her child to have a father, she simply refuses another time and gives this response. Hester’s response shows her consistent religious fervor, regardless of the sin she has committed. Hester is aware that human beings are prone to fault, whereas God certainly is not. On the contrary, the supposed religious town is acting in such a way completely contradictory toward their pious reputation by unjustly punishing Hester. In “The Crucible,” the sinner, John Proctor, remained devout, wheras the “righteous” townspeople reeked havoc killing innocent people.
  
  Will the townspeople ever be aware of the amount of hypocrisy in which they dwell in?

||Scarlet Letter 1: 45-56||

“In our nature, however, there is a provision, alike marvelous and merciful, that the sufferer should never know the intensity of what he endures by its present torture, but chiefly by the pang that rankles after it” (52).

• It can certainly be assumed that for one to go through such a lengthy experience of being unjustly judged by others is extremely agonizing and painful. However, this quote explains that this society is slightly different. One is not quite affected by the agony until after the experience. Regardless of when the pain is felt, Hester Prynne is clearly accepting her sin but may not feel the “pang” just yet. She is being unfairly judged by the townspeople as if they are not flawed human beings. This correlates to Proctor and his search for forgiveness, only to be judged by others that were certainly guilty of their own sins and had no right to look down upon him.
  
  If it is a pious area, why do the townspeople judge when they are not perfect themselves?

“Here, there was the taint of deepest sin in the most sacred quality of human life, working such effect, that the world was only the darker for this woman’s beauty, and the more lost for the infant that she had borne” (53).

• This quote explicates that in Hester Prynne’s case, one of the most beautiful parts of life, such as childbirth was tainted by the sin through which it occurred—adultery. Hester Prynne is certainly guilty of this sin and is not ashamed to accept her faults. However, it may be safe to assume that Hester desperately wants absolution from what she has done because perhaps, like Proctor, she is a genuinely good person but simply made a mistake. Considering what occurred in “The Crucible,” we are aware that forgiveness cannot come from flawed human being, so Hester Prynne must find it elsewhere.
  
  Will Hester Prynne continue to let others torture her unjustly?

Crucible Paper 2- Redemption

Macda Gerard
AP English 11: Mr. George
December 4, 2008
Crucible Paper 2- Redemption

What if one lived in a world where a man was defined by his mistakes, and an unforgiving society rarely created opportunities for redemption? John Proctor was living this reality. He commits the initial sin of adultery with Abigail, which leads him on a misguided search for redemption. Proctor searches for forgiveness through Elizabeth and the townspeople until he is confronted by his empathetic realization that true judgment solely comes from God.

Proctor informs Elizabeth of his adulterous act in hopes of being forgiven. Despite Proctor’s best efforts in abiding by his morality of truth, he is met with Elizabeth’s unwillingness to warmly accept his faults: “Spoke or silent, a promise is surely made” (61). Trust had vanished within the relationship making it difficult for Elizabeth to act in the hospitable way that she had before. Elizabeth’s emotional abandonment elucidates her inability to truly forgive Proctor because she is beset by her own internal conflict, thus pushing Proctor toward other means of obtaining exoneration.

Proctor, a revered man in Salem, is faced with a dilemma that coerces him into seeking redemption from the townspeople in the court. Throughout the chaos and disorder of the town, Abigail’s deception could only be brought to a standstill if Proctor confessed his sin of adultery. He was faced with two options: either sully his name to save innocent people and possibly be forgiven or uphold his reputation and allow Abigail to carry on with her dishonesty. Aware of the fact that his reputation was in danger, Proctor contritely confesses his sin to the court in anticipation of being absolved. Nonetheless, he is blinded by the truth that the townspeople were also guilty of sin, making them unable to truly forgive. Not fully acknowledging the fact that his pleas were directed toward completely flawed human beings, Proctor shouts in frustration, “I have made a bell of my honor! I have rung the doom of my good name—you will believe me, Mr. Danforth!” (111). By upholding his values, Proctor tarnishes his name for justice in hopes of obtaining redemption, however, he is unjustly condemned to death and faced with the reality that flawed beings certainly cannot free him of his sin.

Elizabeth’s influence became more apparent as Proctor’s search for forgiveness proceeded. Faced with lying to save his own life or dying as an unmerited martyr, Proctor pleads with his wife to give him insight on this decision. His moral compass is grappling with the two choices and simultaneously still seeking forgiveness from his wife. Elizabeth, aware of her own sins, simply replies, “I cannot judge you, John, I cannot” (138). She enforces the mentality that God is the only judge. Elizabeth certainly influences Proctor to not seek absolution from conflicted human beings, but to look within himself, thus ultimately finding the answer from God.

Proctor’s misguided search comes to an end when he discovers with whom his answers truly lie. Proctor falsely confesses in belief that there was “no ritual for the washing away of sins,” and that confession would simply compound his sins (20). However, Proctor’s epiphany manifests itself following Hale telling him that he cannot hang. Proctor simply replies, “I can. And there’s your first marvel, that I can” (144). He comes to the conclusion that in order to be forgiven by God, he must not search for it through others, but look within himself.

It is evident that fair judgment and forgiveness cannot be obtained from people plagued by their own internal conflicts. Throughout the moral corruption of this society, Proctor’s clouded morality makes him guilty of searching for amnesty from sinful townspeople. Initially, he is unable to attain redemption, however, through his order of events he discovers where it is found. Ultimately in his redemption, Proctor ceases to seek forgiveness from others and realizes the conflict is between himself and God.

Letter 3 ((Abigail to Proctor))

To my love John,

You have not been to church this sevenmonth. Is it because you cannot bear to stay distant whenever I come near? Do you assume I do not see the sweat glisten down your brow or hear the melodious beat of your yearning heart? I sense you John; your presence outside my window, your breath when you whispered soft words in my ear. When will we share our souls once more? I await to hold you again.

You were the first John; the first to introduce to me a new world. You gently stripped away my innocence and created a lasting bond. The mere memory of the grip of your hands as you clutched my body sends feeling through me, John. Your soft lips pressed against mine only remind me of your compassion. Have no worries, the love we hold is mutual. It will never disappear. Several believe it to be a sin. Whatever sin it may be, it has created my eternal passion for you. The love we share is unattainable by others. That is why Elizabeth mustn’t stand in the way. You must inform her of our love or she will continue to blacken my holy name. Why is my name blackened when surely, I did as you wanted? Pushing away such a persuasive and passionate man as yourself was not an option, nor did the horrid thought come to mind. If you do not make Elizabeth aware of this, I will do as I please and take matters into my hands.

Come to me, my love. Be without your wife and take me. Let us travel to a far away place where not a person is aware of the sin. Let us raise a prosperous family where, comfortably, we will bask in out everlasting love. Aye, that is when we will truly be happy.


Your love,
Abby

Letter 2 ((Mary Warren to Abigail *before they were confronted in the court*))

Dearest Abby,

I don’t understand your reasoning for all these lies. You are beginning to tear our town apart. Accusers are crying spirits, spirits and innocent victims are being hung. Animals are roaming without owners and farms are being left to ruin. This is all pretense. I do not see spirits and neither do you. The other girls follow you and believe it is the truth. It is not! At first, it was all a sport, but it is becoming harmful. Please, Abby, I beg of you. Stop this destruction. Let us go and tell the truth. Proctor always tells us that the truth will be the means of escape, so we must stand by it. I’m scared Abby, I want to walk with God.

I know you meant no harm when you bid me give the doll to Goody Proctor. Hale and Proctor think this good deed was done by a false heart but how could you have known? You can be a good person Abby, I know you can! It is much better if we confess our wrongdoings now, and then maybe we will not be hung. Maybe we will be praised for saving lives. Maybe we will just get a whipping. Despite the consequences, it is time to put an end to this. Before we are summoned, you need to tell me of your plans. Proctor implores that I confess. I don’t want to hurt you, but I have to Abby. This is wrong. It is hurting me. I am sick and shudder in my sleep thinking about this very matter. It’s a sin to mettle with people’s good names! Confess with me Abby! The Lord will save us!


Mary

Letter 1 ((Elizabeth to Abigail *after John's death*)

Dear Abigail,

I do not have the slightest idea of where you are, nor does it matter to me. You’ve caused such great pain amongst my family, and the townspeople as well. This area will never reclaim the amount of piety and reverence it was once adorned with due to your deceiving selfish acts. I surely do believe, at a time, you wanted me dead. Nevertheless, I am writing to you as a means of releasing my anger and as an act of forgiveness.

I had once claimed that there be no mark of blame upon my life, however, that is not true. In God’s eyes, not one person is without sin. We have all gone against His teachings and have strived to please man. This is not how it ought to be. Following John’s death, I have come to the understanding that there be no higher judge than God. He is solely responsible for washing away our sins so long as we first forgive ourselves. Aye, I have committed sins that I have yet confessed, so it is surely not my place to judge you. I can only wish for you to repent, for the Almighty forgives all those who seek it.

My intentions are not to plead with you to go God’s way. It is simply to make you aware that forgiveness is attainable. My soul releases all anger and hatred that it once held for you. I am able to now move forward in life and not be suppressed by my abhorrence for you. May your life be a symbol to all; a symbol of being lost, then being found by our Father above. At last, you are forgiven.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth

Crucible- Blame Essay

Macda Gerard
AP English 11: Mr. George
November 23, 2008
Crucible Paper


Who is most to blame for the chaos in Salem? Does a young teenage girl really have the ability to corrupt such a pious area? This once reverent and prayerful town does not seem so immaculate after Abigail Williams clandestinely places her seed of wickedness in the minds of the inhabitants. In her attempts to get revenge on Elizabeth, Abigail brings the entire town down as well. Abigail has an affair with John Proctor, accuses the innocent, and deceitfully manipulates others, thus making her most to blame for the turmoil in Salem.

Abigail developed a maniacal attachment to Proctor after their affair. Their feelings were not mutual considering the fact that Proctor consistently made efforts to push her away. Abigail, however, beginning to believe the only thing stopping her from being with Proctor was his wife Elizabeth, sought ways in which to get rid of her, such as drinking a charm. Abigail is given even more of a motive to seek revenge on Elizabeth, for Elizabeth put her out of the Proctor home. Abigail’s hypocrisy is further illustrated when she says, “She is blackening my name in the village! She is telling lies about me! She is a cold, sniveling woman, and you bend to her!” (24). Amazingly, her duplicity is reaching such a depth that she is forgetting the fact that she slept with John Proctor. In Abigail’s efforts to seek vengeance, she is caught practicing the ultimate type of Devil worship—witchcraft, which initiates the accusations of the innocent.

Suspicions arise and rumors of witchcraft fill the town. Abigail, along with Tituba, are found practicing witchcraft in the forest, certainly something no other accused person had ever done. When confronted, Tituba lists off names of the others that were said to be associated with the Devil and is soon joined by Abigail. Abigail’s treacherous behavior is revealed through this act in attempting to remove the blame from herself and placing it on innocent people. This creates great commotion amongst the townspeople causing many men and women to be faced with two options: either deny associating with Devil and be hanged, or confess and face a prison sentence. Regardless of what occurred, Abigail was seen as a reliable witness, and the court believed all of her lies.

Danforth, being a prominent member of the court, would in fact question Abigail; however, her dishonesty was extremely deceiving. From the beginning of the play, Abigail lied which only led to more lies. Her consistent dishonesty was never exposed, blanketing her fraudulence with reliability. Abigail was aware of this and continued to accuse people of being witches, specifically Elizabeth, so long as she was not suspected to be a witch herself. She deceitfully used this power to manipulate others and was wiling to sacrifice the innocent in order to get what she wanted.

Abigail’s perfidious nature manifests itself in her trickery of others. During the interaction between Danforth, Mary Warren, Abigail, and Proctor, Danforth becomes suspicious of Abigail and questions her only to receive a slap of guilt: “I have seen my blood runnin’ out! I have been near to murdered everyday because I done my duty pointing out the Devil’s people—and this is my reward?” (108). Abigail’s façade of innocence instills a sense of shame within Danforth causing him to feel guilty for doubting her, when he certainly has reason to. Abigail’s manipulative nature is also revealed in her interactions with Mary Warren. She exploits Mary for her own purposes and falsely persecutes her when she is no longer of use: “unperturbed, continuing to the “bird”: Oh, Mary, this is a black art to change your shape. No, I cannot, I cannot stop my mouth; it’s God’s work I do” (115). Mary Warren attempts to stand up to Abigail but realizes that with Abigail’s cunning manner, it is not possible and she must give in.

Within society, it is despicable when one gets away with deceitful and devious behavior. Throughout the play, this is the case with Abigail. Some people would claim that Proctor was most to blame because he had committed the initial deed, however, it is nothing compared to Abigail’s deceitful lies, accusations, and manipulative behavior which led to the deaths of many innocent people. It is evident that she is responsible for the turmoil and disorder in Salem through her chicanery which accumulates throughout the play, making it impossible for anyone else to be most at fault.

Crucible- HW 9 (p.128-145)

“Pray be at your ease, we come not for your life. We—uncertain how to plead, for he is not accustomed to it. Mr. Hale, will u speak with this woman? ... Will you plead for his confession or will you not? ” (131,133)- Danforth

• At last, this ignorant judge has somewhat come to his senses and attempts to mend what he is responsible for “breaking”. However, Danforth goes about this in a strange way. He is aware that he has made a terrible mistake but he is not willing to sacrifice his reputation and go back on his word. As an alternative, we see Danforth pleading for Hale and Elizabeth to convince Proctor to confess to associating with the Devil. In doing so, Danforth realizes that he will be released from the chains of his decree and will be able to let the innocent live while keeping his high ranking. Danforth always tends to make an effort to redeem himself so long as nothing taints his name.
  
  Does Danforth feel an inch of regret for what he has done?

“Would you give them such a lie? Say it. Would you ever give them this? She cannot answer. You would not; if tongs of fire were singeing you you would not! It is evil. Good, then—it is evil, and I do it!” (138)- Proctor

• In this quote, we see the magnitude of honesty amongst the Proctors. As John grapples with the decision of either lying to save his life or telling the truth only to face death, he asks Elizabeth what she would do in the situation. Elizabeth is a loss for words. It is evident that she wants John to stay alive but refuses to convince him to falsely confess. As a result of this, Proctor realizes that his wife would not lie to save herself, so his act is indeed evil.
  
  Does Elizabeth regret not convincing her husband to falsely confess?

Crucible- HW 8 (p.113-127)

“A fire, a fire is burning! I hear the boot of Lucifer, I see his filthy face! And it is my face, and yours, Danforth! For them that quail to bring men out of ignorance, as I have quailed, and as you quail now when you know in all your black hearts this be fraud—God damns our kind especially, and we will burn, we will burn together!” (120)- Proctor

• What was once a religious and reverent town has become corrupted by the word of a teenage girl. This quote reveals Proctor’s realization of this. God is no longer ruling the town, the people are. Religion and piety has vanished, leaving only wickedness and corruption. Because of Danforth’s refusal to listen to the truth, deceit and vengeance has prevailed over the virtue that Proctor had believed would set him free.
  
  Will Abigail get caught and end up being hung or will she get away with lying?

“Rebecca Nurse is no Bridget that lived three year with Bishop before she married him. John Proctor is not Isaac Ward that drank his family to ruin. I would to God it were not so, Excellency, but these people have great weight yet in the town… I would postpone these hangin’s for a time.” (127)- Parris

• This quote illustrates a great change in Parris’ stance. In the beginning, Parris came across as holy and faithful. Then, it becomes clear that Parris was guilty of using his accusatory manner in seeking vengeance to condemn Proctor: “since I come to Salem this man is blackening my name” (105). Now, Parris is attempting to save those he has accused. This quotation evokes a sense of remorse within Reverend Parris. Reasonable thinking comes into play as Parris becomes aware of how treacherous her niece can be. If Abigail was capable of stealing his money, she is certainly capable of lying. Parris attempts to present his new found rationality by informing Danforth of Rebecca and Proctor’s good qualities; however, it may be too late.
  
  Is it too late for Parris to save these falsely accused people?

Crucible- HW 7 (p.98-113)

“I have seen my blood runnin’ out! I have been near to murdered everyday because I done my duty pointing out the Devil’s people—and this is my reward? To be mistrusted, denied, questioned like a—” (108)- Abigail

• This quote epitomizes Abigail’s treacherous and deceitful nature. After Proctor and Mary Warren begin to sway Danforth onto their side revealing Abigail’s dishonesty, Abigail displays a façade of innocence. She uses reverse psychology by acting as though she has done nothing but what the court has asked of her. In questioning Danforth, Abigail is instilling a sense of shame within him causing him to feel guilty for even doubting her.
  
  Will Abigail really get away with lying?

“She thinks to dance with me on my wife’s grave! And well she might, for I thought of her softly. God help me, I lusted, and there is a promise in such sweat. But it is a whore’s vengeance, and you must see it; I set myself entirely in your hands. I know you must see it now.” (110)- Proctor

• This quotation could be considered as the climax of the play so far. In this confession, Proctor strives to go to any measures possible in order to save his wife; even if it means his own disgrace. Like in other instances, this quote reveals Proctor’s attitude on life. He is set on living truthfully “Do that which is good, and no harm shall come to thee” (95). He lives according to this value in hopes that honesty will save him in the end.
  
  Why does Danforth refuse to see the truth if Proctor has humbled himself and openly confessed such a horrible sin?

Crucible- HW 6 (p.83-98)

“These people should be summoned. Danforth looks up at him questioningly. For questioning.” (93)– Parris

• This quotation exemplifies Parris’ change in character. In the beginning, Reverend Parris portrayed himself as very holy and reverent. This quote shows Parris’ efforts in keeping this façade; however, his motives become clear. Throughout this interaction, Parris is constantly instigating after Proctor’s statements in attempts to condemn him. He does this in a sly manner so it is not obvious to the judges. This also relates to earlier when Proctor states that “vengeance is walking Salem” (77). Parris is acting in such way in order to get revenge on Proctor for wanting to join a party against him and criticizing his sermons on hellfire and damnation.
  
  Will Parris continue to be oblivious to the blaring signs of lies and deceit?

“My proof is there! If Jacobs hangs for a witch he forfeit up his property—that’s law! And there is none but Putnam with the coin to buy so great a piece. This man is killing his neighbors for their land!” (96)- Giles

• This bold statement by Giles accurately articulates Putnam’s motives. When first introduced to Putnam, it is explained that disputes had arisen between Nurse and Putnam in regards to land. This disagreement evolved into “the proportion of a battle” lasting two days. Having this knowledge makes one aware of the extremes Putnam would go to in order to obtain land. Putnam wants “revenge” for the land he was supposedly cheated out on, hence the false accusations he is making.
  
  Will Giles end up being successful in saving his wife?

Crucible- HW 5 (p.68-83)

“Is the accuser always holy now? Were they born this morning as clean as God’s fingers? I’ll tell you what’s walking Salem—vengeance is walking Salem. We are what we always were in Salem, but now the little crazy children are jangling the keys of the kingdom, and common vengeance writes law!” (77)- John Proctor

• In this quote, John Proctor has boldly challenged Hale’s reasoning behind the accusations of innocent women. Throughout the previous sections of the book, Hale has come across as extremely intellectual and reasonable. He seems to be trustworthy because of his knowledge gained from his books. This quickly disappears when John brings up the valid point that those pointing fingers are certainly not perfect themselves. The accusers are clearly taking their newly gained power and using it to their own advantage. Also, it is evident that John Proctor is the most rational during this chaos and is not afraid to voice his opinion.
  
  Was Hale’s visit planned considering the time of night it was and how some others had come to search the Proctor house?

“My wife will never die for me! I will bring your guts into your mouth but that goodness will not die for me” (80)- John Proctor

• This quote reflects back on John Proctor’s adulterous act. Many times before, we have seen John’s guilt and shame manifest itself through his defensive comments and arguments with Elizabeth. This quote is another type of outward display of resentment he has for having an affair. John acknowledges that he made a mistake that has led to great disorder and is certainly not willing to have Elizabeth pay for his faults. He is prepared to take drastic measures in order for that “goodness” to not be hanged for his wrongdoing.
  
  Will John Proctor tell the truth about his affair in order to spare the lives of several innocent women, including his wife?

Crucible- HW 4 (p.49-67)

“Because it speaks deceit, and I am honest! But I’ll plead no more! I see now your spirit twists around the single error of my life, and I will never tear it free!” (62)- John Proctor

• This quotation encapsulates John Proctor’s seven months of bottled anger, resentment, and shame for his sin. Throughout the argument between John and his wife, Elizabeth, he becomes extremely defensive as if she is the one to blame. He accuses her of judging him and suspecting his deceitful ways as if she had no reason to. John wants to remain faithful to his wife, but at the same time, he is fighting the feelings he has for Abigail. It is clear that John desperately strives to gain the trust and respect he once had but is quickly getting fed up with constantly having to defend himself. He yearns for Elizabeth’s forgiveness, but feels as though she will never see past his one mistake.
  
  Why does John constantly deny Elizabeth’s claim of Abigail wanting to take her place when he knows it is true and has the power to do something about it?

“Adultery, John” (67)- Elizabeth

• After being prompted to recite the Ten Commandments, John nervously attempts to list them. Ironically, he forgets the one commandment that he and Elizabeth had been arguing about. Adultery—the one broken commandment that has caused such great disorder. It has led to Abigail practicing witchcraft in attempts to get rid of Elizabeth which Parris had witnessed. As a result of this, the accusation of innocent women has arisen to take the blame off of those actually practicing witchcraft, causing chaos in the town. Elizabeth “delicately” reminds him of the commandment he is forgetting. This adds to the graveness of John Proctor’s sin considering the fact that the one commandment he went against was the one he failed to remember.
  
  If Hale is so focused on the scientific reasoning behind witchcraft, why is he so set on the ability to recite the Ten Commandments as a determining factor of one being with the Devil or not?

Crucible- HW 3 (p.36-49)

"Now let me instruct you. We cannot look to superstition in this. The Devil is precise; the marks of his presence are definite as stone, and I must tell you all that I shall not proceed unless you are prepared to believe me if I should find no bruise of hell upon her"(38). -Hale

• This quotation refutes how witchcraft has been perceived throughout the town. Hale explains a 'contrary to common belief' explanation of the Devil's presence. He explains that opposed to the superstition and common perceptions, there is a definite sign of the Devil's presence. Hale also articulates a plea in which he would not continue unless the people were open to discovering no signs at all.

If Hale is so educated about the Devil's marks, why didn't he know Tituba was associated with the Devil?

"He say Mr. Parris must be kill! Mr. Parris no goodly man, Mr. Parris mean man and no gentle man, and he bid me rise out of my bed and cut your throat! But I tell him 'No!... But he say, 'You work for me, Tituba, and I make you free! I give you pretty dress to wear" (47)- Tituba

• This quotation reveals Tituba's confession of working with the devil. After the back and forth accusations of Abigail and Tituba, and Hale prying a confession out of her, Tituba is finally overcome with emotion and admits her wrongdoing. This quote also shows Tituba's battle of inner self versus the Devil. She is told to kill Parris but continuously refuses.

Abigail, along with Tituba, begin to name off who was associated with the Devil. Does that mean Abigail was also one of the Devil's agents?

Character List

Reverend Parris

• Mid forties
• Paranoid
• "He believed he was being persecuted wherever he went, despite his best efforts to win people and God to his side" (3).
• Somewhat arrogant
• "He felt insulted if someone rose to shut the door without first asking permission" (3).
• Strives to gain respect from the people of the town
  “Parris: Abigail, I have fought here three long years to bend these stiff-necked people to me, and now, just now when some good respect is rising for me in the parish, you compromise my very character” (11).
• Preaches only hellfire and damnation, hardly ever mentions God
• Graduate of Harvard

Betty Parris

• 10 years old
• Daughter of Reverend Parris
• Inert
  “Abigail: We did dance, uncle, and when you leaped out of the bush so suddenly, Betty was frightened and then she fainted. And there’s the whole of it” (10).
• Cannot bear to hear the Lord’s name

Martha Corey

• said to be a witch
• "laid herself down on his chest and 'nearly suffocated him'"(7)
• wife of Giles Corey

Tituba

• Reverend Paris’ Negro slave
• Brought from Barbados
• Feels as though trouble always lands on her back
• Waves her arms over a fire and screeches gibberish
  “Mrs. Putnam: Tituba knows how to speak to the dead, Mr. Parris” (15).
• Admits to seeing and dancing with the Devil

Abigail

• 17 years old
• Parris’ niece
• Was discharged from Goody Proctor’s service
• Drank blood in the forest
• Drank a charm to kill Elizabeth Proctor (John Proctor’s wife)
• Has slept with John Proctor
• Says Tituba forces her to drink blood and conjure spirits

Mrs. Ann Putnam

• Forty-five year old death ridden woman
• Accuses Abigail of being a witch
  “Mrs. Putnam: How high did she fly, how high?” (13)
• Believes her 7 children were murdered through witchcraft
• “accused Rebecca’s spirit of ‘tempting her to iniquity,’ a charge that had more truth in it than Mrs. Putnam could know” (26)

Mr. Thomas Putnam

• Believes there are witches murdering people
  “Putnam: There is a murdering witch among us, bound to keep herself in the dark” (16).

Mercy Lewis

• The Putnams’ servant, 18 years old
• Ran naked through the forest

Mary Warren

• 17 year old lonely girl
• Proctor’s servant
• Scared and wants to tell the town the truth
  “Mary Warren: Abby, we’ve got to tell. Witchery’s a hangin’ error, a hangin’ like they done in Boston to years ago! We must tell the truth, Abby!”

John Proctor

• “He is a sinner, a sinner not only against the moral fashion of the time, but against his own vision of decent conduct” (20).
• “has come to regard himself as a kind of fraud” (21).
• Cheated on his wife Elizabeth with Abigail
  Admits that he wants to join the party opposite of Parris’

Rebecca Nurse

• 72 years old, white haired
• Stands over Betty until she quiets down

Giles Corey

• 83 years old
• On Parris’ side
  “Giles: I never thought you had so much iron in you (31).

Reverend John Hale

• Nearing his 40s, minister of Beverley
• “spent a good deal of his time pondering the invisible world, especially since he had himself encountered a witch in his parish” (33)
• Is called to heal Betty from whatever ‘ails’ her

Francis Nurse

• Rebecca Nurse's husband

Ezekiel Cheever

• comes to the Proctor house to search it for any Devilish things
• has a warrant to take Elizabeth as a witch

Herrick

• early thirties
• shame faced when he enters the Proctor house

Crucible- HW 2 (p.20-36)

"The people had no ritual for the washing away of sins. It is another trait we inherited from them and it has helped to discipline us as well as to breed hypocrisy among us" (20)

--> This quotation reveals the duplicitous nature of the townspeople and how easily they are influenced. Not having a simple religious ritual or constructed routine could be a means of encouraging the people to live more simplisticly causing less drama among them. It could also just as easliy alter their minds and cause hypocrisy in forcing someone to say one thing but do the complete opposite.

Why do you think stepping out of the conformity of the society would be considered hypocrisy over just simply being unique?

"Normally the actions and deeds of a man were all that society felt comfortable in judging. The secret intent of an action was left to the ministers, priests, and rabbis to deal with" (35).

--> This quote holds significance because it addresses the common issue of minding everyone else's business rather than one's own. It explains that people only judge and speak about other's actions not aware of the actual thought process before the actions take place. This quote emphasizes the importance of religion within the society. The thought process is commonly left up to the religious leaders through a means of confession or repentance.

Would the girls still be accused of witchcraft if others were able to see the thought process OR would their stubborness cloud their decisions?

Crucible- HW 1 (p.8-20)

1) Mrs. Putman: "I'd not call it sick; the Devil's touch is heavier than sick. It's death, y'know, it's death drivin' into them, forked and hoofed" (13)

This quotaton expresses the amount of anger in the character's accusation. In the text, it can be assumed that Mrs. Putman is accusing Abigail of associating herself with witch craft. This can be assumed because in this quote, Mrs. Putnam is expressing her beliefs on what exactly happened to Betty. The speaker implies that it is not a simple sickness but a power much stronger.

2) Abigail: "Let either of you breathe a word, or the edge of a word, about the other things, and i will come to you in the black of some terrible night and i will bring a pointy reckoning that will shudder you. And you know I can do it; I saw Indians smash my dear parents' heads on the pillow next to mine" (20)

This quote is the speaker's way of taking on a defensive attitude. She continues to deny her association with witch craft; however, she contradicts herself when threatening to physically hurt anyone that goes against her word. Why would this be a problem if her innocent pleas were indeed innocent?
Also, this quotation reveals past happenings in regards to witch craft. It expresses the doomed fate of her parents which could be a common punishment of witches.


Questions
What role does Tituba play in what exactly happened with Abigail and Betsy? Is she involved or is Abigail attempting to create a false allibi?

Are both Abigail and Betsy witches? Why has no one seen them in the 'forest'?

Crucible-Classwork

Reverend Parris
-> mid forties
-> paranoid
"He believd he was being persecuted wherever he went, despite his best efforts to win people and God to his side" (3).
->widower
-> somewhat arrogant
"He felt insulted if someone rose to shut the door without first asking permission" (3).
->uninterested in children
-> religious

Betty Parris
-> 10 years old
-> daughter of Reverend Parris
-> inert

Martha Corey
-> said to be a witch
"laid herself down on his chest and 'nearly suffocated him'."

This play takes place in Salem, Massachusetts in the spring of 1692. Europeans saw Salem as a "barbaric frontier inhabited by a sect of fanatics" at this time. There were no novelists and the people did not have an opportunity to ever read newspapers even if they were readily available. The town was a very prayerful town. They did not celebrate Christmas; however, any type of time off of work meant more concentration on prayer.

The people of the town worked hard which kept the morals of the area from "spoiling". The workers had no time to fool around. However, many citizens would mind their neighbor's business which resulted in great suspicions among the town. Several were snobbish when it came to religion.

Journal Entry ||Divorced Parents|| (3)

Dear Diary,

Who knew a divorce would change my life so drastically?

The house felt so empty now. No more sounds of my dad making food in the middle of the night. No more waking up to my mom blasting her Gospel music. The once beautifully decorated walls filled with memories were now blank. The beautiful wedding pictures, the family outing albums...gone. The millions of my father's degrees...gone.

Of course I woke up to an empty house this morning, no different then any other morning after the divorce. The lunch money accompanied with the usual note "for Magi...from Papi"—wasn't there. "You know honey, I took on a few more shifts at work just so we can stay on our feet. Try and start saving your money, you know I won't be able to give you lunch money everyday like your father did." Quickly pushing my mother's voice out of my head, I grabbed my purse and went to school.

"I hate Thursdays," I said flipping through my Physics notebook. Overhearing my comment, Amanda replied, "I know right. It's so0o close to Friday but not really. And my parents always go out for dinner on Fridays leaving me all by myself. They're home all the time, I can’t stand it. I can't wait till tomorrow!"

"I definitely don't remember asking you" I said mumbling under my breath.

'Leaving me all by myself'...wow. Being alone in the house drives me insane. Mom has to work more often so we don't lose the house. Papi moved out a few weeks ago and has never stepped foot back here. How can being left alone be so great? I would give anything to have my parents home all the time.

The rest of the school day got worse.
“Any intentions?”
“My parents ‘cause they just bought me a new car!!”
“It’s my parents’ anniversary today.”
I could have sworn I missed the memo that it was "talk about my parents day".
The 2:21 bell rings. Volleyball time! the only thing that's been getting my mind off of the divorce. After getting subbed out in the second set and going back in just a few minutes later, I looked out into the bleachers. Seeing all the parents there cheering and giving words of encouragement to their daughters got to me. Why can’t I have that? "Macda, what the hell, the ball was right in front of you," said Smarthine with aggravation. "I know, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
But it did. I kept missing passes, missing serves, and bumping into my teammates. My mind wasn't on that game at all. I kept thinking of going home to an empty house, knowing that my father wouldn't be waiting for me with chicken teriyaki like he always had on Thursday nights.

Why can't things go back to the way they were? When I'd hear my parents play fighting about who would take a shower first. Or the surprise anniversary, birthday, and Mother's Day gifts my dad always seemed to have planned at least four months in advance. Or even my mom cracking jokes on my dad's beard—hilarious.

But it'll never be like that again.

Journal Entry ||Perspective of a Teenager Getting Cheated On|| (2)

Dear Diary,

4 a.m. …again.
Why the hell was this the 5th morning I woke up stressing over him?
He definitely wasn’t losing sleep over me.
After seeing him in the back corner behind the vending machines with Michelle last week, all I could do was cringe in pain every time he’d kiss my lips. Two years—down the drain. He didn’t know I saw him and I haven’t exactly found a way to confront him yet.
I mean, how do I bring that into conversation?

Going to school today was the worst. Arriving their just in time to get my books and walk to class, there he was… waiting for me as usual.
“Baby, I got an A on my Calculus test!” as he approached to hug me.
“Aww good job babe, I’m so proud of you.”

Lie.
I could careless.

“Baby you ok?” he hesitated, sensing the falseness in my voice.
I couldn’t do it anymore. I love him, but why punish myself for his wrongdoing?
He kissed me. I broke down.
I told myself I was going to stay strong. Why was I crying? This makes me look so weak.

“Macda-Nut we’re ‘bout to be late. Hurry up!!!” screamed a familiar voice running towards me. As Dora grabbed my right arm, unaware of what was going on, she pulled me into English class.
I wished those 50 minutes had never ended because walking through the hallways was brutal.
“I heard Gabriel’s been cheatin’ on her ever since they started goin’ out”
“Yo, Gabriel’s a G…two girls at the same time?”

Was I the only one that didn’t know? From the beginning, the “be careful with Gabriel” and “keep an eye on him” comments never hit me. I felt betrayed and hurt. Opening my locker, all I could do was stare into darkness and cry. The pain was unbearable. My body felt paralyzed. After two years of giving him everything, living to make him happy. It was like a glass splinter working its way into my heart. It was a soul hurt. A real-gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

I need to end this.

Journal Entry ||Pregnant Teenager|| (1)

Dear Diary,

3 months, 23 days, and 10 hours to go.

Waking up to a mouth full of vomit isn’t exactly my favorite kind of morning… but that’s exactly the one I had. Barely making it to the toilet, I sat on the bathroom floor and threw up my macaroni and cheese dinner. As the last chuncks came out, I remained there. Of course there were mirrors all around forcing me to stare at the ugliest person I’ve ever seen. It was almost 7 o’clock so I showered, got dressed, and tried to make myself look half decent.
Getting in the car was ridiculous today. As my stomach pushed against the steering wheel, I felt him kick back (as if he hasn’t caused me enough pain already). I quickly adjusted it and drove to school. As usual, all I could do was ask stupid questions that I already knew the answers to.
“How could I let this happen to me? What the hell was I thinking?”

Then the lingering one in the back of my head, "Abortion?"
Quickly shot down by the few morals I had left, "Hell no."

School definitely didn’t make my day any better. Friends? Sure. If friends are the ones that walk with me to class then sit in a corner and talk about how much of a hypocrite I am. I mean, who could blame them? Last year, all I did was talk about the importance of chastity and abstinence. Now look at me. In three months, I'll be a mother taking her child to school with her. Sitting in second period, all I could hear were the guys laughing, “Wait till marriage my ass. She couldn’t even wait till she was 17.”

Ouch.

(They knew my birthday was in six days)

School went by as usual—dirty looks, under breath whispers, rude comments. Leaving that parking lot would have been the best feeling if I didn’t see my old volleyball teammates laughing and talking about their last league game today. I miss them. I should have been on that van.

Home was no different from school…maybe even worse. Speaking to myself as I walked through the front door, “How the hell am I going to support a baby? I’m only 16.” Of course my brother looks at me in disgust and needs to add his unnecessary comments, “Who told you to open your fuckin’ legs Macda. Man, in 3 months you're gonna be a mother. You’re a lil’ hoe like all the rest of them, talking about ‘oh I’m waiting till marriage’ yeah the fuck right. How can you even pray at night?”

I stayed quiet of course. He didn’t have the right to talk to me like that, but what did it matter. At least he spoke to me. My parents haven’t said a word to me for 5 months and 7 days. My grandparents blame me for their high blood pressure.

Like everyday, I fled to my refuge—my room.

When will I ever be happy again?



3 months, 23 days, and 9 more hours to go…

Notes on a Blind Teenager

What do I look like?
Why are there some people singled out as prettiest or most hadsome?
Am I pretty?
Do people laugh and make fun of me right in front of my face?
I hope the seats arent moved around in class today.
All I can do is touch, listen, smell...
Am I up to date with fashion?
people are getting really annoyed with me bumping into them
I'm sick of all the questions (can you see this? how about this?)


insecurities-->
does my body look like the most popular girl in school's body?
why don't any boys want to talk to me?
i'll never get a boyfriend
why don't I get invited to parties or dances?

i'm human just like everyone else
i have feelings and emotions
i can hurt, cry, laugh...love

"How do you know where to sit in your classes?"
"It's a routine, i just get used to it...kind of like crying myself to sleep"

||From Me to God|| (5)

Dear God,

Q. Why do bad things happen to good people?
A. Randomness

What? Is that answer supposed to console a grieving family after a loss?
“Hey I’m sorry to hear about your mother, the woman that has done everything for you from the day you were born. It’s just randomness.”

Or maybe, after your best friend gets kidnapped and almost raped, I’m sure the emotional hurt will ease after hearing,
“Yeah, I heard about that guy putting a gun to your head if you didn’t have sex with him, don’t worry, it was just randomness.”

Lord, are we supposed to live based off of randomness. I’ve never understood that and I don’t think I ever will. Opposed to randomness you’ve done so much for us. Our health, food to eat, homes to live in, loving families…the list goes on. Why is that I always focus on what’s wrong.
I’m not gonna lie… I’ve lost my way. Going to church hasn't felt the same. I don't want to feel like this. I want to praise your name and worship you. But it’s getting so hard to. I’m not perfect, but there’s so much pressure to try and act like I am to the point where I’m becoming a whole other person. I wouldn’t call it living a double life, but it's certainly heading in that direction. And my grandmother, she's really sick. I can't remember how many times my family has prayed asking you to heal her. Also, how can something end up so perfect but hurt me in the process. I feel like I'm rambling, but the millions of questions and thoughts in my mind need to be expressed. I know our lives are predestined. Was I predestined to get hurt without reason? Were millions of people predestined to be homeless after Hurricane Katrina? Prayers after prayers after prayers.

Then I stopped feeling that my prayers were being answered.

I started looking for answers in all the wrong places. I forgot who I was, got caught up in this world. It’s just that, every time a wound healed, something else took that healing away. I was blind. I tried to stop the rain. Nothing worked.

I finally got on my knees.

Father, can you hear me?
I know it’s been a long time. Do you still remember my name? I tried to keep my mind on you but trouble kept calling me. I can't change the past. I don't want to hurt anymore. I should have never doubted your love for us. Please, helpe me believe because I'm having trouble seeing past what I see right now. If you can hear me, can you give me a sign because I don't feel you like I should. My faith is almost gone and I can't hold on much longer.

Help.

Love,
Macda

||Body part to Self|| (4)

Dear Macda,

Left and Right ears here.
We have a few things to discuss with you.
We don’t mean to make you feel bad but we’re heated.

Two summers ago, you let some lady stab us. Not only could we barely understand what she was saying, but then we were sore for a good two months. How could you be so inconsiderate? We felt like infecting ourselves just so you could realize how much that hurt us. After a lot of consideration (which you are lacking), we decided not to because the medical bill—not cheap. Consider that a favor.
Now, we’re guessing you have some type of OCD where you can’t take showers with our rings on. That’s kind of getting to be a bit annoying considering that you are poking us more often. JUST LEAVE THEM IN, YOU PSYCHO!
And what’s going on with us wearing these heavy rings all of a sudden. We DO NOT have strength for that, and to be honest with you, they’re ugly. Get rid of them.

Blasting music in your car needs to end. I completely understand that it’s not always your fault. So to make it easier for you, we had lunch with Carla and Carla’s ears and a compromise is definitely in the works. Also for your birthday present, we’ve been trying to create a toning device in which we can tone out your mom whenever we sense a raise in the volume of her voice. We hope you appreciate it.

One more thing before we go. We’re kind of jealous that hands, neck, and head are always warm and looking cute in designer during the winter season. Hands always rub it in and they've been getting pretty personal. It's so annoying, especially when they’re the one’s keeping us warm. When are we gonna get the hook up?

You beloved,
L.R. Ears

||From God to Satan|| (3)

Dear Lucifer,

Stop. Honestly, just give up. This whole corrupting my followers business you have going on, it’s not working. You are being a hypocrite. For a time, you wanted to be in heaven. You made the choice to leave. After you made Adam eat that apple, I knew you’d be a problem.

Killing, hatred, cheating, jealousy. Wow! What great effort you’ve made. Haven’t you ever noticed that after your attempts of influencing my followers, they almost always comeback to me asking me for forgiveness. How many people ask you for forgiveness? Is there a specific day of the week set aside just for you? Are there thousands of writings describing your desires for humanity? Oh, wait, I guess you’re somewhat mentioned in the Bible. Face it, I have elementary, high school, and college courses about me. You’re below me, literally.

Just to let you know, mistakes and slip-ups, perfectly okay with me. Go ahead and try to hurt my disciples, you’ll soon be disgraced and turn back in shame. You intend to harm them, but that just makes them stronger. Your evil spirits don’t come close to my Holy Spirit. Starvation and poverty—not your doing. Stop taking credit for it. It’s part of the randomness of the world. I’m sure you think it’s benefiting you but have you forgotten about Mother Theresa or Emily Samek?

Well Lu, tomorrow’s Sunday so I need to go prepare to switch up a few sermons. Before I go, I just wanted to give you some words of advice… or more like commands: Don’t you dare try to touch my followers. I have wayyyyy more power than you do.

I bless you.

Love,
The Man Upstairs

||From Aborted Baby to its Mother|| (2)

Mommy dearest,

My life is great and I owe it all to you. I decided to give you a copy of my biography outline, Barnes & Noble has been harassing me for the book but I haven't had the time to finish it. They're just excited because according to the critics..."it's new and unique. A biography written as a letter to his Mom from the perspective of specific ages."

Let me know what you think and what I should add.

6 months

You were so nervous bringing me to school with you today. I felt you're heart beating every time you'd pick me up to hold me. I saw some eyes on us mom, but who cares. As long as you have me right. That’s all that matters. I'm gonna make you such a proud mommy.

8 months

I know you're still upset that I'm a junior but at least you've gotten through this long with it. Don't worry, when I'm old enough I'll have people call me by my middle name just to make you happy.

1 year old

I said my first word, "Dah dah". Daddy was so excited. You were too but I know you wanted me to say "mommy". It's okay though, I'll probably get to that in a few months.

4 years old

Dr. Seuss—best books ever. Thanks for coming to my preschool graduation. It was awesome looking out into the crowd and seeing you and Daddy's face. I was so nervous Mommy. Learning how to read last year was the best. You never gave up when you were teaching me. And now I'm reading in front of all the jealous parents that wish they're kids could read. I hope I'm making you proud.

6 years old
It's set. I want to be a firefighter when I grow up. All the boys in the 1st grade want to be one too. The girls thought we were weird but I don't care,they all have cooties anyway.

8 years old

Learning how to ride the bike Grandma got me was so hard. Daddy told me that big boys don't cry so after I scraped my knee, I came to you crying. I didn't want Daddy to see me.

10 years old

I surprised you today after your hard day of work with my spelling bee award. It was a piece of cake Mom. I guess all the random words you have me spelling paid off.

12 years old

Skip 6th and 7th grade? How come you didn't ask me mom? My principal should've talked to us together. I feel so young in the 8th grade. Even though everyone's really excited for me, I'm nervous. I guess it's fine because you know best. Oh, I made your favorite for dinner today—macaroni and cheese.

14 years old

I miss 9th grade. Sophomore year is boring. Especially because I'm taking AP classes with all Juniors and Seniors. They said that 10th grade classes are too easy for me, but it doesn't really matter to me.

16 years old

President of the school soon to be President of the United States. Senior year's the best. I rule the school. After being named the captain of my football team, I knew this would be a good year. Just a little stressful with SATs and College Applications.

18 years old

I miss you Mom. I'm not gonna lie, being in a dorm is a new experience. Although it's my second year here, it still feels awkward without your delicious coconut shrimp. Isn't it great not paying for my education. After getting a 2400 on the SAT’s, seeing tears of joy run down your face. That made me so happy.
20 years old
What would I have done if you weren’t beside me when I gave my speech today? Discovering a symptom-less cure for AIDS is such a big deal. There were so many people to thank but of course you were number 1. I’m so excited to go to Africa and give this medicine to all those who need it.

Too bad none of this ever happened, and never will

You killed me.

Sincerely,

Your son that would've made a difference

||To My Future Husband|| (1)

Dear Future Hubby,

I prayed for you last night,

As I have been every night for the past year. I prayed that God would keep you safe. I prayed that He would help you with whatever troubles you may be going through. I hope you're doing okay with everything. There's not a day that comes when I don't think of you.

The past year hasn't been the best for me and relationships. It always comes down to trust issues or my values that get in the way. I've been hurt a lot so my trust has definitely been damaged. Just to let you know, I've decided to wait until we’ve gotten through this day to share my soul with you. Waiting till marriage has definitely been a challenge, but if you’re reading this letter, I’ve accomplished it. I know it’s kind of early to make such a big decision (considering I’m only 16) but after being cheated on because I won't "put out", I realized that I'm just going to get hurt if I do. I really can't handle that type of pain right now.

If I married you, you’re wonderful. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know that God has blessed me with your existence in my life. You’re my other half. When I’m upset and frustrated, you are always there to calm me down. Whenever I’m feeling discouraged, your love is always there to encourage me. When I’m emotionally distressed, you are the one to console me. When I think I’m right, you always let me know I’m wrong (I love that). I can be really stubborn, but your patience is going to help me change. Swallowing your pride for me is never a problem. I hope you’ll be the one to love me forever.

I love you


Love always,
Your Wifey


p.s. I can't wait to have our son.

Forgiveness Letter (Write a letter to yourself from someone you hurt)

Dear Macda,

Trust. The one thing I thought would never be a problem. I thought we were on the same page when it came to trusting each other, but apparently not. You would constantly say you trusted me. You would have no problem with me spending time with my female friends or even speaking to them on the phone. That's what set you apart from all the other girls. You weren’t jealous. You knew how I felt for you, and that's all that mattered. Then all of a sudden, you question my feelings for you. You let your insecurities overcome your thoughts and even your behavior. You said you trusted me but I could no longer take your word for it. Actions spoke louder than words. You stopped trusting me.

It has been a long time, but my soul has been harboring a grudge my pride has refused to release. It hurts that I can walk right past you as if you were never a huge part of my life. We used to be able to speak for hours and now, I can’t even approach you with a hello. If Jesus says to forgive 7 x 70 times, why has it taken me so long to forgive once? I guess time really does heal all wounds. Whether this makes a difference or not, I forgive you. I forgive you for making me feel as though our memories made together were a waste of my time. I forgive you for making me feel hurt and inadequate. I forgive you for not trusting me but lying to my face saying you did. Forgiving you certainly will not change the past, but it will definitely improve the future.

Sincerely,
Jesson

My Continuations

Our mouths dropped and a blanket of anxiety wrapped around us. This was it.
"Kill it!!!"
One point away. Four of my teammates and myself instinctively got low to cover as our captain jumped up in perfect position. The moment was in slow motion. The anxious crowd's breath hit us like a heat wave. As if hosting the tournament game wasn't great enough, we actually had a chance of winning it. Ready to cover, we stared intently at the ball. After everything we were told during practices, this was definitely the time to apply them. Anythings could go wrong: a mishit, a tip, a net touch.

Chritina's hand followed through. Slap! The referee's whistle blew. Tears ran down everyone's faces.

I could tell it was coming. Anyone could. His cold and hallow glance said it all.
It wasn't fair. Being cheated on...then dumped? Every single type of emotion swarmed within me. How was it my fault when all I did was trust and all he did was lie. Picturing it in my mind, I felt sick to my stomach. Sitting there alone in the dark, I felt paralyzed.
Vulnerability had accompanied what I thought was love.

You build up all these defenses and a whole suit of armor so nothing can hurt you. Constantly telling yourself "The wall's not coming down." Then one stupid person, no different then any other, wanders into your life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or hold your hand, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

I felt paralyzed. All I could do was stare out of the window for what seemed to be eternity.
I've always loved the atmosphere of hospitals, but that day was different. The tears were unending.
Cancer, the only word I heard from the doctor. I couldn't handle it. Questioning God as if my answers would be found in the street lights, I stared. I stared at anything but her:the t.v., the window, the nurse, my mother.

Why? The common question that God has to deal with on a "milisecond" bases.

After her living with us for five years, the house felt empty without her presence during her stay at the hospital. "Grandma's going to be okay..." my mother reassured me.

And she was.

The six a.m. phone calls stopped. Why was he doing this...
Waking up to his voice had become a ritual for the past few months. He made me happy. I couldn't imagine my morning without it. Royalty had become engraved in my mind. I was his princess.

Then one day it ended.
"Ahh, it's already 8!!!" Showering then rushing out of the door with my uniform half on, I ran to catch the next bus. After collecting my thoughts and organizing myself I stared out of the window. "Wait." Frantically searching for my phone, I checked the envelope icon on the screen. It read: "I messed up."


Waking up to his voice was no longer a ritual. He no longer made me happy. I couldn't imagine my morning without an alarm clock. I was his princess.




But apparently not his queen.

Pieces of ripped up envelope covered the kitchen floor as the house phone rang off the hook.
"Thank you Lord!!!!!" shouted my mother. Tears ran down our faces. All the hard work, all the dedication, paid off. All the praying and church support, paid off. Unable to stop moving, the world was called. The 10 aunts in Canada and the 8 aunts in New York. The cousins in Haiti and the uncles in Florida. News traveled fast as close friends and relatives called the house.

The crumpled letter caught my attention, and once again I read.
"We welcome Macda Gerard to our Trinity Catholic community and are pleased to offer her a full scholaship"

Continuing Mr. George's Intros

A post is far better than a deer....or at least that's what I told my parents.

Anxiety overwhelmed my entire being. The sweat dripping from my palms could have drowned me. "I can't believe this," said my mother gazing out of the window for what seemed to be eternity. What was outside was a lot easier to handle then what was in. How could I have done this, and how could I have lied." "Yes, one was severely injured" said an authoritative voice through what seemed to be a walky-talky. "No, don't try to move, you'll make it worse." These voices lingered around the room as I had slowly regained consciousness. Looking around, I felt a strong blow. To the left, was the one person that knew me best, the one that would steal my clothes regardless of if it fit her, the one who called me "little brother". "Yeah the post happened to do an absurd amount of damage to the vehicle" said the walky-talky.

Why her? Why not me?


She didn't wake up till 8 months later.

50 cent and the pervoscope....the only two ingredients to a successful spring break.

Ready to leave our hotel room and get some dinner, something caught my attention; not so much something as someone. Was that who I thought it was? The intentional disguising of sunglasses and hat turned out to be what had brought the most notice.

"Heyy uh, I think I'm going to stay here for a little bit," I said.

Waiting for my friends to leave, I sprinted to the door. Peering out of the eye hole, a light shone through the door of my destination room. What's the worse that could happen?

Quickly, I approached the door and felt myself push. More clothes, food, and jewelry one could ever imagine. Snooping through envelopes and trying on at least 15 pairs of sneakers...I felt a hand on my shoulder. Attempting to move my paralyzed body, an extended hand came toward me.

"Curtis Jackson...you?"

Roses leading to her front door, and frozen M&Ms in the pool, the only ingredients to a successful homecoming request.

Heart pounding and palms sweating, rushing to perfect the scenery. Was I missing anything? Headlights flash past the window as I hear her tires rolling against the pavement. My hand glides against the light switch and the room goes black. The click of the key echoes around the room. The door swings open, there she was. My queen.

"Hello?" her black silhouette stands in the doorway.

"Surprise!!!!" comes from the guests.




"Welcome back Mom"

Mint Chocolate Brownie ice cream on my bed, and love in my heart.

There she was with two spoons, as she had always been for the past four years on every Sunday night. Gazing at her smile gave me the same feeling that I've had since the day she bumped into me in the hallway. The gentleness in her voice continues to send chills down my spine, the warmth of her touch fills my heart with the contant reassurance that she will be there. Sharing the only type of ice cream that I've ever eaten, my life felt complete.

18 roses on her balcony seemed like a good idea at the time...

Coming home from such a stresstful semester, she was the only thought on my mind. I had to do something special. As the roses lay in the bed of snow, I stepped back to admire my work of art. Anticipating her call of gratitude, a sense tranquility came over me. Minutes went by, then hours, then soon days. Nothing. What was going on?
After what seemed to be eternity, the phone rings.

"Are you Philip George?" said a deep voice.

Worry swelled up insde me, causing my heart to clench as the background voices increased to blend of crying and shouting. "How could she? We told her to stay off of it, too much ice!"..."She was our only daughter"



"We have bad news regarding Miss Erica".......