Dear Lucifer,
Stop. Honestly, just give up. This whole corrupting my followers business you have going on, it’s not working. You are being a hypocrite. For a time, you wanted to be in heaven. You made the choice to leave. After you made Adam eat that apple, I knew you’d be a problem.
Killing, hatred, cheating, jealousy. Wow! What great effort you’ve made. Haven’t you ever noticed that after your attempts of influencing my followers, they almost always comeback to me asking me for forgiveness. How many people ask you for forgiveness? Is there a specific day of the week set aside just for you? Are there thousands of writings describing your desires for humanity? Oh, wait, I guess you’re somewhat mentioned in the Bible. Face it, I have elementary, high school, and college courses about me. You’re below me, literally.
Just to let you know, mistakes and slip-ups, perfectly okay with me. Go ahead and try to hurt my disciples, you’ll soon be disgraced and turn back in shame. You intend to harm them, but that just makes them stronger. Your evil spirits don’t come close to my Holy Spirit. Starvation and poverty—not your doing. Stop taking credit for it. It’s part of the randomness of the world. I’m sure you think it’s benefiting you but have you forgotten about Mother Theresa or Emily Samek?
Well Lu, tomorrow’s Sunday so I need to go prepare to switch up a few sermons. Before I go, I just wanted to give you some words of advice… or more like commands: Don’t you dare try to touch my followers. I have wayyyyy more power than you do.
I bless you.
Love,
The Man Upstairs
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